wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Randomize