...so i touched it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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