She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
