That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
