I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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