All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
