i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
