We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
