So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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