he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
