i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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