Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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