You work out of a Hotel?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
