I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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