No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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