using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
