Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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