Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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