I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
