Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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