He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize