kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
