There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
