She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
