I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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