So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
