This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dicks are not precious.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
