i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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