It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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