Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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