Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
