So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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