dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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