Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
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vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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