Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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