White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
