I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
