remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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