I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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