i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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