Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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