I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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