PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
