3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
