just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
