I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
