in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish i was in the wii world.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
