Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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