it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
