just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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