I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
