...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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