I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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