I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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