i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
