I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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