Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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