I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
