I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
