Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize